Happiness
My colleagues keep saying to me that I always smile and look happy despite the daily demands of our profession. They do not understand or are curious about how I can maintain this state of mind day after day when they find it challenging not to allow their emotions to take over.
Happiness, that elusive yet sought-after emotion, is something we all yearn for in our lives. While its pursuit may seem complex and varied, the essence of true happiness often lies in simple practices.
Gratitude. Is it the foundation of happiness? Some say that gratitude is indeed the cornerstone of happiness, but in reality, this simple act can be very challenging. We live in a society that is driven by capitalism, constant, unlimited and more importantly, unnatural growth and profit. We are being told that we must work harder than last quarter, we must have the latest technology, we must follow the latest fashion trends and we must get stronger, faster, and fitter by the day. Taking a moment each day to reflect on the things we're thankful for could significantly shift our perspective, but let’s not kid ourselves, is a very hard thing to do and requires a lot of conscious effort.
Gratitude actually came to me almost by accident. Many years ago, after a breakup, I was in a dark place. I do not like throwing around the word depression, because it is a severe and debilitating condition and frankly, I think I only had a very low mood at the time.
DISCLAIMER: I am aware that “thinking positively” or “being grateful” are not solutions for depression or anxiety. I am neurotypical and my only experience with neurodivergence or mental ill-health is through my partners. I am also conscious that I have lived and am still living a very privileged life and my experiences are vastly different from others’. This blog is a point of view and not medical advice.
Nevertheless, at the time I felt that nothing had a point in life; I barely crawled out of bed ate or spoke to anyone for a few days. It was genuinely terrifying because this had never happened to me before. One night as I was lying in bed struggling to fall asleep, a voice in my head told me to list 5 things that I was grateful for and I did. I thought of very small and trivial things like sunshine, birds singing, my heartbeat beats and so on. Though it took a couple of days for it to work, I got out of this headspace at the end.
My interests in astronomy and astrophysics were also helpful. Knowing that we are literally a spec of dust in the vastness of the infinite universe that one day might completely disappear (the heat death of the universe, thank you, Dr. Brian Cox!), that the likelihood of complex, conscious life is insignificantly low and that we are living in an infinitesimally small window of time when life can exist helped me to realise how wonderful it actually is to be alive.
Living in the present moment can also bring a profound sense of happiness. It has its drawbacks though. I have mastered this practice so well that I often do not remember things that I did in the past. When I read a good book or watch a great movie, I thoroughly immerse myself in them and enjoy the experience, but sometime later I might not be able to recall what they were about. I sometimes wonder if maybe I should be more intentional with how I consume fictional media to retain some sort of lasting effect.
I do not intend to sound patronising when I say that engaging in activities that align with your passions and values can create a deep sense of fulfilment. As I mentioned earlier, I am a privileged man who had an exceptional upbringing and access to free education and thus I can pursue a career that gives me joy every day and also allows me to have a comfortable lifestyle. I say this though: finding your passion, the reason you get out of bed in the morning might not require financial sacrifices.
Research has shown that acts of random kindness (ARC) not only benefit the recipient but also the giver. Simple actions like helping a neighbour, volunteering, or donating to a cause can trigger the release of feel-good chemicals in the brain, leading to a heightened sense of happiness.
Last, but not least: being physically active and having good eating habits. These are such misunderstood and misconstrued topics.
You don’t need a gym membership and you don’t need fancy athleisurewear to be active. Walking. That is it. Just walk, if you are able to. Walk as much as you can on a daily basis. Walk to work, take the stairs, and stand instead of sitting. Of course, you can do more and engage in sports that you enjoy, but it is not a necessity.
Food and diet are an even more dangerous minefield. We are bombarded with adverts everywhere that tell us what to eat and the information available is truly confusing. The old adage of ‘everything with moderation’ is one of the pillars of happiness. The other one is to avoid attaching misleading adjectives to food. Using words like ‘healthy’ when we talk about food is giving the wrong impression. All food items have their role in our nutrition and their usefulness depends on your personal needs. Phrases like ‘cheat meal’ or ‘processed food’ should be avoided, because they either suggest that we eat something we should not or that they are harmful to us. Let’s make one thing clear. Almost all the food we eat is ‘processed’. Even if you cook from scratch every day, your ingredients (meat, grains, vegetables, etc.) are processed before they reach you. We treat farm animals with antibiotics to avoid certain diseases, we use pesticides on our crops and the list goes on. Eat anything you like with moderation and you will be fine.
In summary, happiness is not a constant state but rather a journey that involves conscious choices. Remember, the pursuit of happiness is a personal endeavour, and it's okay to seek help when needed. So, let's embark on this journey with an open heart and a willingness to explore the boundless potential of happiness that resides within us.
