Haves/Needs/Wants
I need to get better at appreciating what I do have and not being occupied with what I do not.
This has been playing on my mind a lot recently. I am a very privileged and fortunate man. Despite my parents’ divorce, I had a loving and nurturing upbringing. My mother was always present, she put my care in front of her own needs, and my physical and mental development were her utmost priorities. As her stories go, we had not been wealthy, but we always had food on the table and I always had clean clothes to wear. She made sure that I received the best possible education. She always told me that getting a degree would help me secure a career and thus a comfortable lifestyle. She also said that without hard work there was no success. She pushed me, but never punished me when I did not perform well, but encouraged me to do better next time. She knew what tough love meant in the best possible way. I will never forget when I was learning to swim how she did not allow me to give up when I faced a challenge, when it became hard to do it. She was next to my hospital bed forcing me to get up and walk when it was recommended by the doctors, but it hurt and I did not want to do it.
I grew up in a country during a political era when studying, including higher education was free. I had great teachers who inspired me and shaped my worldview and my personality in a positive way. I lived my adolescent years without the pressure of social media and with peers who made those years fun. Bullying was not a thing back then or at least I have not experienced it around me. I got into vet school in Budapest and graduated without any student loan debt. I came out when I was 23 at a time when being gay was more accepted in my country and to a mother who told me that she loved me no matter what and we marched together during Pride.
Six years after my graduation I was able to secure a job here in the UK and I could buy a one-way flight ticket to London and started working as a night vet which allowed me financial security and travelling. I started building a life here and in the process, I met great people who welcomed me and respected me. I was able to pursue love and even marriage.
I have my physical and mental health. I am able to use my body without any limitations. I have a positive outlook on life and I feel that whatever life brings, I will be able to deal with it. I have a voice, I have agency and I dare to say, I might even inspire people.
As I am writing these words, this list of gifts and achievements, I wonder about two things. Firstly, I ask myself if this is fate or in fact just - as my mother had indeed suggested - hard work and determination. Secondly, I speculate if this fortune will last or it is inevitable that one day I get tested by the universe and hardship will come.
Furthermore, I think about the more materialistic side of life lately and this is where the real meaning of the haves, needs and wants comes into play. I find myself grappling with the challenges of our consumerism-driven world. On one hand, I struggle not being affected by advertisements encouraging me to buy, spend and consume and on the other hand I am painfully aware that I have everything I need to have a joyful, rewarding and happy life whilst more and more people do not have their basic human needs met. These thoughts and feelings give true meaning to cognitive dissonance.
I believe that our current political and economic systems are not sustainable, they are inhumane, destroy the environment and cause suffering. My societal, economic and political views - as far as I can understand and articulate - are close to social democracy. I do believe that as a society it is our duty and responsibility to look after those who cannot look after themselves, that tax is the membership fee to society and that healthcare, education and housing are rights and not privileges and should be provided free of charge by the state. I am obviously not an economist, and I have no financial training, but I am convinced that there is enough wealth and resources on the planet to eradicate poverty and allow a comfortable life for all. We just need to overcome the hunger for power and control our greed for more, the cornerstones of capitalism. We need to find a new and better system. We must dare to dream!
